It's All Coming Back
by Giovanna1
Summary: Daine and Numair have broken up! Why? O-ho-ho! Read and REVIEW...rated PG13 for, ah, you know...and please REVIEW, I want to know if my stuff is actually read... ^_^


Ahem...hello...again.  
Yes, it's me. Giovanna. Gosh, don't I ever stop? Like the Duracell Bunny, I just go on and on and on... Anyways... here's the plan. *makes a face at the choice of words*  
You are about to read *another* Daine/Numair fanfic - I have this problem, you know. I'm obsessed with hurting them and breaking them up, then putting them back together, again and again and again - yes, *just* like the Duracell Bunny.  
Not only is this a D/N fanfic, it's also a D/N songfic, courtesy to the great Celine Dion who got the idea of singing beautiful songs.   
I don't claim credit for Tammy's ideas - unfortunately, she is the one who sees Numair the clearest *growls* - and I don't claim credit for Celine Dion's lyrics/songs - I *might* have changed a few words to fit my story, but if not, everything is as it should be.  
*rubs hands* Let's begin?  
Good!   
PS: We all know how Numair has a weakness for blondes. Now, I'm a blonde, so don't think I'm insulting all blondes, okay. My entire family is blonde, so why would I cuss them, huh?  
^_^  


  
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**It's All Coming Back to Me Now**_  
_

  
There were nights when the wind was so cold.  
That my body just froze in bed   
If I just listened to it  
Right outside the window.  
  
Daine jumped out of her cold bed and marched to her window. She slammed it down, shivering with anger and pain and cold and anger...  
_How could he_, she thought again - for the millionth time. _How could he?_  
The wind screamed louder, as if trying to prove a point. Daine rubbed her face, trying to get some warmth into her cheeks. Finally, she decided that it would be the best idea if she dressed and went down to the common room, where a fire heated the place.  
She pulled on thick garments then left her small, cold chamber, careful to lock the door behind her.   
  
_There were days when the sun was so cruel  
That all the tears gurned to dust  
And I just knew my eyes were  
Drying up forever._  
  
She wouldn't cry. She couldn't. She wasn't filled with pain, or that jab of betrayal that had struck her when she saw him. No. No, she was filled with a rage that consumed her body.  
Alanna could see it. She was sipping a mug of tea, wrapped in several blankets, when Daine entered the common room. The knight had hardly recognized her friend.  
The young woman who had been filled with love and laughter and joy was gone. Instead, an empty husk remained. Her cheeks were hollow from emotional hunger; dark circles surrounded her eyes. Her face had taken a cold appearance. Daine's lips were tight, as if she was constantly clenching her jaws to prevent angry words from escaping.  
Ice queen.  
  
_I finished crying in the instant that you left  
And I can't remember where or when or how  
And I banished every memory   
You and I had ever made.  
  
_Daine slid into the chair next to Alanna, shivering slightly. There was a slight blue tinge around her lips.  
It was cold in my room, she explained. Alanna, with an understanding nod, called for some more tea. When it came, she pushed it to her young friend, saying,  
Drink. It will warm you up.  
With a crooked grin, Daine gulped it down. Warm me up how? she asked. I'm still cold. When Alanna raised an eyebrow, Daine tapped her chest. In my heart. I should have stayed in my room - the environment suited me.  
Alanna sighed. I've asked you before and I'll ask you again; what happened between you and Numair?  
Daine's face clouded over; Alanna was almost sorry she asked. _But I have to know_, she told herself sternly.  
Daine sighed, then told the tale...  
  
(flashback.)  
  
Daine made her way to the library, whistling cheerfully. It had been a perfect day, what with the weather and Cloud's broken leg healing. Now, if she could only find Numair and tell him the news - gods, the day could be rated as number one in the Tortallan Times! (*now is that corny or what?*)  
  
_But when you touch me like this  
And you hold me like that  
I just have to admit  
That it's all coming back to me.  
_  
She reached the heavy doors and pushed them aside, the smell of musty books meeting her nose. It wasn't an unpleasant scent, just a strong one. Oh well...  
But what was that _other_ smell? The smell of roses and violets and oranges and lavender? Daine got a headache. She shifted - with a sneeze - and with a hyena's nose, she started to get an idea of what that terrible smell was.  
The roses belonged to Lady Karina.  
The violets belonged to Lady Viola.  
The oranges belonged to Catherine of Fort Bravery.  
The lavender belonged to the Countess of Afalaar.  
And they were blondes and in their mid-twenties-early thirties.  
Daine got a nasty feeling in her gut, but she shook it away, scolding herself. Why would they have _anything_ to do with -  
purred the accented voice of the Countess. Let me do it...   
Daine lost the rest of that, because it lowered into a whisper, then turned into sounds...   
Daine remembered how amazing Numair was, in more than one way, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and... physically. Flashbacks of what they did at night ran through her mind...   
  
_When I touch you like this  
And I hold you like that  
It's so hard to believe but  
It's all coming back to me  
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now.)  
  
There were moments of gold  
And there were flashes of light  
There were things I'd never do again  
But then they'd always seem right  
There were nights of endless pleasure  
It was more than any laws allow  
Baby Baby.  
  
_Daine reached the place where the sounds were coming from. She pushed past a shelf of books... and froze. The blood rushed from her face; her heart pounded. She felt... cold.  
What is going on? she demanded; she was shocked at the sound of her voice.  
Numair, sprawled on a table and surrounded by four women, looked at her with a sheepish expression. he laughed. I'm so glad you stopped by! Would you care to join us?  
Daine realized he was drunk.   
Or drugged.   
Or both?   
But that didn't excuse him.  
Join you in what? she whispered coldly.  
Lady Viola, her blue eyes vivid, smiled and batted her eyes. At this! Come on, girl-child -  
Shut up, snarled Daine. Viola made a face; Lady Karina smirked.  
Child, you have no place here. Go back to your mommy! She laughed; so did the others.   
So did Numair.  
Daine fled, her eyes brimming, a rage brewing in her heart.  
  
(end of flashback.)  
  
Daine stopped the tale so she could sip some more tea. So she could master her hurt and fury. She didn't see the sympathetic look Alanna gave her.  
So... he did it _á la quatre_, Alanna whispered, using a different language to state her means.  
Daine nodded. After... he came to me, begging for forgiveness...  
  
(flashback.)  
  
Numair found Daine sitting on her bed, looking bleakly at the wall.  
he asked, not trusting his voice. She turned around, revealing a tear streaked face.  
she said, her voice trembling. Numair, you'd better have a good explaination for this! she yelled, leaping up and slamming her full weight across Numair, who stumbled back.  
Please, calm down! he begged her, holding the clawing and scratching hands away from his face. I can explain!  
Oh, you'd better, snarled Daine.  
They... they drugged me. I don't know with what, but it's supposed to make the victim hungry... for... well, you know.  
Daine snorted. That explains why you invited me to be the _fifth_!  
Blanching, Numair continued, I woke up and when I realized what had happened... He stopped, unable to go on.   
Pushing herself away from Numair, Daine glared up at him. So now -  
Daine, please forgive me! he cried, grabbing her shoulders and kissing her thoroughly.  
  
_If I kiss you like this  
And if you whisper like that  
It was lost long ago  
But it's all coming back to me.  
If you want me like this  
And if you need me like that  
It was dead long ago  
But it's all coming back to me.  
It's so hard to resist   
And it's all coming back to me.  
I can barely recall  
But it's all coming back to me now  
But it's all coming back.  
  
_He whispered things into her ears and kissed her more passionately. Daine felt her will melt and her desire flare up.  
Please Daine?  
she gasped as his mouth moved down her neck.  
Forgive me?  
I - forgive - you! she whispered as his lips found hers again.  
  
(end of flashback.)  
  
So I forgave him. Daine snorted. The biggest mistake of my life. Then, a few weeks later, I found him at it, again. He had been drunk, he explained. Yeah, drunk in lust. Again, he invited me to be part of his... his... _fanclub_!  
She stared bleakly into her mug, then swallowed the rest of the tea down.  
Why didn't you tell me? murmured Alanna. I could have -  
chortled Daine. I doubt it.  
And did you forgive him the second time?  
sighed Daine. But then it happened again and again and again... we had fights in the middle of the night. I screamed like one possessed; Numair threatened me. He promised never to do it again; he did, and it hurt me like shit. So I hurt him back; I would make him believe that I was having affairs. But I didn't have one... not _one_! I didn't want to hurt him, but I did! I hurt him so much that it hurt _me!_ And he would go to one of his lovers for comfort.  
  
_There were those empty threats and hollow lies  
And whenever you tried to hurt me  
I just hurt you even worse and so much deeper.  
  
_Sometimes, I would stay up for hours, waiting for him to return...  
_  
There were hours that just went on for days  
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances   
That were lost to us forever.  
  
_... and when he _did_ come back, we'd fight _again_ and leave _again._ That's when I realized that it was over. I marched to our rooms one night to tell him that... and he was there with another woman! In _my_ bed! I attacked her, kicked her out, not caring that she was bare. Numair and I had another arguement, and I told him we were through. He got so pissed at me that he slammed out of the room; I didn't really cry. I was too angry. Too hurt.  
  
_But you were history with the slamming of the door  
And I made myself so strong again somehow.  
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then.  
  
_I moved back to my old rooms after that - that was three months ago. I knew he kept on having affairs. I didn't care. I didn't even look at him when he talked to me. _When_ he talked to me...  
Numair is a hard man... whispered Alanna, gripping one of Daine's hands in her own, tightly. I'm so sorry -  
Don't be, Daine said firmly. I'm not sad anymore. I just feel... a slight pang of resentfulness. I'm resentful because the relationship we had was amazing.  
I know, admitted Alanna. You two were like the perfect couple and -  
Please, Alanna, whispered Daine. I don't want to know.  
Alanna nodded.   
Getting up with a yawn, Daine continued, It's all past. Onua was right, you know.  
  
Daine nodded. About two things.  
Alanna raised an eyebrow. And they are... ?  
Firstly, Numair's weakness is blonde women.  
And secondly? Alanna braced herself and almost squeaked with surprise when Daine replied softly,  
It bleeds off the poison to talk. I'm going to back to bed; g'night.  
Good night, whispered Alanna. She watched her friend leave the common room, and knew that she watched a person who had lost a battle of wills. Daine had lost her will for life.  
_But she's here to help the Tortallans win this war against the Scanrans. She's a spy, just like me, and Tortall's fate may lie in her hands._  
Alanna looked up at the ceiling. Damn you, Numair!  
  
_But if I touch you like this  
And if you kiss me like that  
It was so long ago but it's all coming back to me.  
  
_Numair sat up in bed with a gasp. His heart thudded painfully against his chest and his body was covered in sweat.  
That dream again - that terrible dream where he could almost reach her and just when his fingers brushed her hair... she dissolved into a voluptous blonde with hungry eyes and full lips.  
Funny, how those lips seemed repulsive to him now.  
  
_If you touch me like this  
And if I kiss you like that  
It was gone with the wind  
But it's all coming back to me  
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now.)  
_  
Gods damn it! These thoughts were driving him crazy.  
_Next time I won't be drugged. Next time I won't drive her away. Next time -_  
_Shit, there won't be a next time', _growled the sensible part of him.  
I know, I know, he moaned, covering his face with his hands and shaking with silent sobs. I was so stupid! And I would do anything -  
Someone banged on his door. Grumbling, Numair got up and opened it. King Jonathan was standing there, looking worried.  
Dress, then come with me, was all he said. Numair nodded and slipped into warm clothes. Then, silent, the two men made their way to the King's council room.  
Some powerful mages were there already, along with Lord Raoul and Gareth the Younger and the Queen. Buri and Onua were also present.  
Those Scanran monsters have made it across the mountain borders. Alanna and her group of the Own don't know that, so I have to contact them, began Jonathan; horrified gasps met the statement.  
Unlike everyone else in the room, Numair had no idea where Daine was. He thought that she had run away in her misery. No one planned on enlightening him on her where-abouts.  
Jon threw something at the fire; it turned blue, then revealed the short knight. Her face was tired and she was wrapped in thick blankets.  
she said curtly. I was wondering when you'd contact me.  
Jon blushed, but said, The monsters are crossing the borders even as we speak.  
Surprisingly, Alanna did not pale or gasp or look horrified. Instead, she looked thoughtful. I'm not surprised. The weather suits them. Her smiled twisted. I should have gone to the desert; it's _freezing_ here.  
There's no time for that, Jon snapped. I'm sending three more companies of the Own to all the mountain passes, where they'll be crossing.  
They won't be there in time, said Alanna grimly. By the time the Own get there, we'll all be dead. Sorry, Raoul. Not even _you_ are that fast.  
But I am, interrupted Numair quietly. Everyone stared at him. Patiently, he explained, I can shapeshift and fly there and be there in less than two days.  
The King nodded. Those _things_ the Scanrans have created won't be crossing over until about four days; they can't get all of themselves pass the borders without calling unwanted attention. So you'll have time to regain your Gift.  
snapped Alanna; she suddenly seemed pissed. Fly here as fast as your wings can carry you and let's destroy those bastards. Good night! The connection was broken.  
Numair sighed. I'll go pack.  
  
Daine listened patienly as Alanna explained everything. She was to scout the paths in the forests, as the Scanrans _might_ try to smuggle themselves by them.  
Alanna did not tell Daine that Numair was coming.  
When do I start scouting?  
In two days. Alanna had calculated everything; Numair would arrive tomorrow and he would spend the two days resting and regaining his strength, but in a small lodge in the woods. They wouldn't meet.  
  
Two days later, Daine put on her winter-travelling clothes. They were made from reindeer skin - they had been a present from her mother, who assured her that the reindeer god didn't begrudge her anything - and were soft and flexible and light, but extremely warm.  
Alanna waved her off, wishing her friend good luck. With a sigh - _I hate the cold! -_ she went in a different direction for scouting of her own.  
As Daine made her way through the snow covered forests, she caught herself thinking unwanted thoughts. Scowling, she pushed them away.  
_This is _not_ the time for thinking about Numair!_  
  
_There moments of gold  
And there were flashes of light  
There were things we'd never do again  
But then they'd always seemed right  
There were nights of endless pleasure  
It was more than all your laws allow  
Baby Baby Baby.  
  
_She froze. What was that sound? That... _smell_? She almost gagged, smelling that disgusting smell. It was a sweet scent - the sweet scent of rotting flesh and flowers.  
Wary now, she nocked a bolt to her crossbow and prepared herself to shift, if necessary. Then she continued walking down the trail. But she knew she was being watched by cruel eyes, and she could feel goosebumps prickling at her arms and legs.  
Suddenly, a huge, dissorted shadow rose infront of her. She moved to the left, and the shadow was replaced by the reality. (read Squire to figure out what Kel's monsters look like, kay? Otherwise, I'm making up the way the creature looks like.)  
She gave a half cry, half choke of terror and horror combined. But when the _thing_ picked her up with one huge pincher, the scream broke loose, but even as the sound tore through her throat, she released and the bolt ran through the creature.  
It gave a questioning noise. Without hesitating, Daine started kicking it. Hard.  
Mommy, why are you hitting me?  
That voice scared Daine. She felt tears flow out of her eyes - wait, why was she crying? She had nothing to lose, except her life and even _that_ didn't seem very important now.  
Her resolve hardened. She shifted her hand to the deadly claws of a lion and insterted it in one of the creature's joints. It dropped her with an   
She rolled away when the pincher stabbed the ground, missing being impaled like a bug on display by a hair's breadth.  
she hissed as she rapidly reloaded the crossbow. She aimed and shot; the quiver hardly tickled the monster. She shot again and again, noticing that the bolts didn't harm the creature.  
When all of her ammunition was gone, she stared at her crossbow blankly, not understanding.   
_I have to warn Alanna. Somehow._  
Daine was momentarily frozen in her thoughts - but that was enough. With one long stride, the monster was at her. It grabbed her again and started squeezing.   
Gasping for air, Daine shifted into a snake, then into a bird, and finally into a tiny mouse. When she ran out of shapes - and hope - she shifted back into human shape - with clothes - and braced her legs against the pinchers. She pushed, and slowly she was released.  
The creature felt that and pressed. Then it just threw her down. Daine fainted with the impact.  
  
Numair had heard the scream and started following it. He had no doubt that the person who had cried out had met the creatures he was after.  
He had nearly bumped into it and only just managed to stay in the shadows as he watched.  
One of the Scanran creations was dragging a limp figure through the woods. He fought down a feeling of anger when he saw the harsh treatment - then fought the feeling of panic when the figure roused and started to kick out and claw at her captor with animal claws.  
It was Daine.  
Rapidly, so rapidly that he himself was shocked, Numair flared out with his Gift and attacked the creature. It caught on fire, but it shook the flames out.  
Wha- ? cried Daine. Her eyes searched, then her face hardened. With a sudden burst of strength, she released herself from the creature's grasp, then attacked it.  
Numair, with his Gift, pushed her away, then blasted it with the full extent of his power, until nothing but ashes remained.  
Silence reigned in the woods...  
Daine was walking - limping - to him when a roar emerged from behind him; her eyes widened in fright as the shadow of another creature fell over Numair.  
Numair! Look behind you! she shrieked in panic.  
Numair did and almost screamed. Instead, he channeled the energy to attack the creature.  
He cried out in Old Thak; it dissolved into water. Numair collapsed on the ground, shaking. Hesitantly, Daine sat beside him.  
So, um... thanks, she said at the same time he blurted, What are you doing here?  
I came with Alanna, she replied as he answered, You're welcome.  
They laughed... then fell silent, uncomfortable.  
Daine... I...  
But Daine looked him over. Are you alright? You don't know how scared I was when that thing grabbed you! I should have warned you earlier. I'm sorry.  
You are? Numair asked softly. Daine looked at him straight in the eyes.  
Yes. I'm sorry. Are you alright?  
Yes. Are you? He gripped her hand tightly; Daine almost lost herself in his deeply intense eyes.  
  
_When you touch me like this  
And when you hold me like that  
It was gone with the wind  
But it's all coming back to me  
When you see me like this  
And when I see you like that  
Then we see what we want to see  
All coming back to me  
The flesh and the fantasties   
All coming back to me  
I can barely recall  
But it's all coming back to me now._  
  
Daine... I... Daine, I'm sorry! Please forgive me! I love you and I never meant to hurt you and -  
I know, whispered Daine. Her eyes were troubled. We were both... idiots. We both did stupid things. I'm so sorry. She looked down, her mouth trembling. Yes, Numair. I forgive you.  
And so do I, he replied quietly, lifting her face.   
  
_If you forgive me all this  
If I forgive you all that  
We forgive and forget  
And it's all coming back to me  
When you see me like this  
And when I see you like that  
We see just what we want to see  
All coming back to me  
The flesh and the fantasies   
All coming back to me  
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now.  
  
_She kissed him softly.Then the impact of what had just happened hit her and she began to shake with the after-shocks.  
  
_(It's all coming back to me now)  
And when you kiss me like this...  
_  
It was terrible! she sobbed. It was _there_ and you were _here_ and you didn't see it - and I didn't know if you were going to...  
Numair shushed her, feeling ashamed of the undue worry he had caused her.  
he said suddenly.  
What is? gulped Daine, wiping her eyes. Numair gestured.  
When you kill them, they disappear.  
  
We killed two of those monsters, right?  
  
And nothing remains - there's no blood or gore or mess or _any_thing.  
Daine looked around, then frowned. Keladry told me... she didn't tell me that. Mayhaps the Scanrans improved their... ahem... designs. She looked disgusted.  
Numair sighed and shifted position on the ground. _What_ are you doing here? he blurted suddenly.  
Daine looked uncomfortable. I told you, I came with Alanna.  
Yes, but no one told me that! I was so worried! Numair's glare was scandalized.  
sighed Daine; her eyes were full of past pain. Numair, I left soon after I moved out. After you had that affair with what's-her-name-blondie. I was just so humiliated at what had happened - did you know your girlfriends stopped me in dark passages to make fun of me?  
I never! gasped Numair, enraged. Then his expression softened. I'm so sorry magelet. I never meant -  
I know, interrupted Daine. And I forgive you and I'm going to kiss you. She did that, grinning. Now what will I tell Alanna? She was _so_ looking forward to beating you up!  
Tell her what you will, Numair said softly, caressing her face.  
  
_(It's all coming back to me now)  
And when I touch you like that...  
  
_You bet I will, whispered Daine, lost in her lover's gaze. I'll tell her how it felt like... the pain... the pleasure...  
  
_(It's all coming back to me now)  
If you do it like this...  
(It's all coming back to me now)_  
  
Must you? murmured Numair, moving down so he could kiss her neck. Can't we keep it... secret? The pain _and_ the pleasure?  
breathed Daine.  
  
_And if we...  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   
**Oooo**_****....lookie here...I gotta dirty ending. Hahaha!!! Don't ask me why Daine forgave Numair in less than five minutes - I myself don't know. People do strange things in the name of love. Ha ha ha! Hope ya liked it! Oh, if ya didn't get it, the time frame is a while after . 


End file.
